A Change Gonna Come March 26, 2012

In my experience as a wedding planner, I’ve seen the overwhelming evolution of business technology. When I first began twenty years ago, having a fax machine was the true marker of a successful business woman—and I had one! Nowadays, my phone seldom rings and I get nostalgic butterflies in my stomach when the rare fax buzzes through. Nearly all of my business is done via email.

The landscape of event design has also undergone a dramatic makeover. It used to be only a daring bride that would choose colored table linens. Now, brides have 500 linen swatches to peruse, 20 chair choices and a multitude of dance floors. Shall we have a photo booth? Chocolate chip cookie bar? Triangular head table?

My job title is also seeing some transformation.  It’s not enough to simply be a “wedding planner”. In some circles, I’m now known as The Event Coordinator. This is mostly due to the fact that weddings are no longer just weddings. They are indeed events that have morphed into a cacophony of not only florists and bakeries, but valets, mimes, magicians and dog handlers. Oh my!  And they all work tirelessly to pull off a vision that is tastefully simple, wonderfully modern, and romantically classic while exhibiting just the right amount of restraint.

If all this makes your head spin, fear not dear reader! I’m here: wedding planner, event coordinator, vendor juggler. But you can just call me “Mary”.

P.S. I accept faxes.

Secure Measures March 26, 2010

   As a wedding planner who has worked with celebrities and influential business people, I have, from time to time, had to take the necessary precautions to ensure a smooth and safe event.

   At a large church wedding, I sat a security guard in the last pew.  Should a certain ex-wife arrive on the scene, she would be swiftly and quietly escorted out of the church. Fortunately, the ex never made an appearance. As far as anyone knew, our security guard was just one more well-dressed party guest.

   For another wedding, the bride informed me she was concerned about her sister causing a scene. The sister had a history of imbibing a bit too much. Subsequently, she became a rather brash and belligerent drunk. I hired an individual to explicitly watch over the sister for the duration of the night.  Again, we were lucky there were no mishaps. No one was none the wiser that the “photographer’s assistant” was actually licensed security.

   I always recommend clients have someone staying full-time at their house during both the rehearsal dinner and wedding.  There are many people who know you will not be home during these events; a perfect environment for mischievous trouble.

   It’s a special day that sometimes call for special measures. Always err on the side of safety.

Rookie Mistakes, Part One February 25, 2010

Some brides wonder why they should hire a veteran wedding planner as opposed to someone who’s been on the job less than five years.  We’re both planners–aren’t we the same? In a word, no.  I have learned something new with every wedding. Here are a few of my lessons:

1.  Not all meat is created equal. You can receive a proposal from two different caterers, both with steak on the menu. One will taste like it came from Sizzler and the other from Ruth Chris. Don’t assume because one costs more they are the same cut of meat or prepared in a similar fashion.

2.  A shuttle’s load capacity should not be exceeded. Stuff too many people into one, go down a steep hill…bottom out!

3.  Vendors with trucks need to know the heighth and width of all entrances at your event’s venue.

4.  Ants don’t go marching one by one. They go by the hundreds and make pesky party guests. Spray for bugs before an outdoor reception.

5.  San Diego weathermen are not astute at forecasting rain. On the other hand, if he’s calling for hot weather, be prepared!

6.  Plan on receiving your shipped linens at least three days prior to an event.  Delivery delays do happen.

7.  Never assume the limo driver knows directions.

8.  Don’t book a chocolate fountain. Not only are they unhygienic, but an incorrigible mess as well. When the air conditioning or sea breeze drifts through the reception so will brown splotches of chocolate.

9.  Exposed dance floors become dewy once the sun goes down. Dance with caution!

Bottom line: NEVER assume anything. Plan for the absolute best, prepare for the impossible worst, and never stop smiling. Those wedding planners with frowns on their faces? Newbies. Guaranteed.

Fire in the Hole! February 18, 2010

   Candles at weddings are de rigueur these days. While they are indeed beautiful and add to the festivities,  good sense and preparation are a must when engaging open flames at your event. The following tips and tricks will ensure the fire department doesn’t crash your party.

 

   Rule #1:  In California, unexposed lit candles are illegal. If you are getting a fire permit from the state, be sure to have a maximum of only 6 votive candles per table when the fire marshall arrives for inspection.

 

   Rule #2:  In an air-conditioned room, cut your candle’s wicks down or they will light up like the Olympic torch.

 

   Rule #3:   If a client supplies her own candles, always test them. I had a client bring in three-foot tall pillar candles from Mexico for a Chapel wedding. We lit those babies up and they very nearly smoked out the church before we extinguished them.

 

   Rule #4:  To be certain it stays lit, a candle burning outside needs to be encased in a Hurricane glass that is at least three inches tall.  This is not the place to pinch pennies; cheap hurricanes will crack when they get hot.

 

   Rule#5:  Rethink too many candles in a stuffy, overheated room.  Candles are lit with fire and as such will produce more heat.

 

   Rule #6:  Don’t throw confetti around open flames. Don’t. Just don’t.

 

   Rule #7:  It’s never a good idea to place candles at the children’s table. While the wee ones will find the flickering flames jolly fun, when the tablecloths go up in smoke it’ll be too late to change your mind.

 

   Rule #8:  Unless you want starfish le feu, avoid placing them next to candles. Starfish literally explode when overheated.

 

   Following this advice will help your wedding to be a fun, hot-smokin’ event.  

   Just not in that annoying 9-1-1  kind of way

       

 

  

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Money Talks February 11, 2010

 

I was doing a beautiful outdoor wedding at Casa del Moro in Balboa Park, a city park open to the public and a magnet for street artists and panhandlers.

Casa del Moro  itself is private but lies just steps from the public area.

 

About five minutes into the ceremony, I heard distant singing that quickly grew to a loud crescendo. While it was quite lovely, it was beginning to interfere with the Rabbi’s words and guests were starting to look around.

 

I followed the sound of the singing upstairs where I found a homeless woman belting out opera at the top of her lungs. She was collecting tips in an overturned hat.

 

As luck would have it, I just happened to have a twenty dollar bill in my pocket. When I dropped it in the hat, a big smile came over the woman’s face. I told her that her music was beautiful then politely asked that she stop singing for the thirty minutes it would take for the ceremony to be done. 

 

The woman was more than happy to oblige.   She picked the twenty dollars up, placed her hat on her head and walked away.

 

These days I carry a spare twenty with me to every wedding because it’s true what they say: money talks.  Sometimes, it even sings.

911! June 22, 2009

Here’s the scene.

Beautiful wedding with 250 guests. During the ceremony a man in the second to last row has a heart attack. Ambulance is called and the Rabbi continues with the ceremony. All the guests are respectful and keep their eyes toward the bride and groom. I can see that the paramedics need more time and it is almost time for the ceremony to end. I run down to the tent where the reception is being held and grab the violin player from the band. I tell him as soon as the glass is broken by the groom to step into the aisle and play Sunrise/Sunset until the stretcher is gone and the ambulance is driving away.

By the violin player standing in the aisle ,it held the bride and groom from walking down the aisle along with the guests.

Within 2 minutes of the glass breaking the stretcher was in the ambulance and heading towards the hospital…the violin  player proceeded down the aisle with the bride and groom and all the guests.  

The mother of the bride looked at me and said…”Is he dead”? I said no…and she said Thank goodness..let’s have a party!!

The guest ended up being ok and the party was fantastic!

Toasts! May 26, 2009

I think my favorite part of wedding is hearing a well thought out toast.

The toasts that make you laugh,  then cry and laugh again. The ones where you don’t want to move because you want to hear every word and every guest is looking towards the speaker and intently listening and smiling.

The heartfelt toasts from the father-of -the-bride, the funny humourous and insightful stories from the bestman and maid/matron of honor.

A wedding is a passage of life.  A meaningful toast given will be a wonderful gift to give the new bride and groom and will be remembered forever.

Some of my favorite..one liners

Father of the Bride: My daughter didn’t want to do the money dance…but I am telling you tonight, I have no problem with it and I am doing the money dance.

Maid of Honor: I knew I met a friend for life in college. We were roomates and Stacey arrived with 100 pairs of her shoes all in my size!

Bestman: The Bestman was foreign and I didn’t realize he didn’t understand English that well. I asked him if he was ready to give his toast. He said, “Yes” and proceeded to the stage. He lifted the microphone to his mouth in his right hand and his champagne glass in his left and out came the words “Toast”…then he left the stage. Ahhhhh!!!!

Life is a beach “wedding” 5-18-2009 May 20, 2009

In San Diego, we do alot of weddings on the beach…yes it is beautiful, but just remember-

1. Tides. They change daily and throughout the day. Make sure you check a tide chart (which may not be correct ) to make sure there will be a beach on your wedding day and that you don’t set up too close to the water in the morning while the water washes away your ceremony site in the afternoon.

2.  Wind.  The wind  can pick up by the beach. I have seen many brides with their veil in their face during the ceremony. Also, make sure your florist secures your decor so it does not fly away.

3. Sound. With the waves behind you, it is very hard to hear what the officiant and  bride and groom are saying.  Hire a sound company so all guests can hear.

4. Parking.  Usually very limited.  If you can afford to have guests park in a lot and shuttle them in or have your guest’s park at the reception site and pick them up there and bring to the beach and back.

5. Sun.  It can be hot and smack in your guests’ eyes especially if you are getting married around sundown. I coordinated a wedding in La Jolla..had the parasols for the guests, bottled water, sunglasses on every chair…it was foggy that day… sometimes you just don’t know at the beach.

6. Sandals. Nice to have a place for guests to take off their shoes if they want and put on (supplied by you) sandals, they will appreciate the option!!

7. Privacy and Reserving your spot.  Set up your chairs early to reserve your space, make sure you acquire a permit as soon as you know your location to make sure it is ok to hold a wedding there. If the beach is not secluded, you will have the public watching you  while wearing shorts and bathing suits.

Embrace the above, plan ahead and have the beach wedding you have always dreamed of!

Seagulls May 11, 2009

If you are doing an outside reception by the beach do not include food items in your centerpiece. The set up was complete with champagne grapes as part of the centerpiece. As soon as the floral crew left, the Seagulls came dive bombing down on the tables to eat the grapes. We had to keep the wait staff by the tables until the guests arrived.

Always know when you are anywhere outside there are always birds above that can drop a present at a moments notice.

I was organizing a lobster clam bake at La Jolla Cove when the photographer arrived. He took out all his expensive camera equipment and started to shoot and within 5 minutes his equipment was covered with Seagull droppings…Bullseye!!

My first Post 5-3-2009 March 18, 2009

Whenever I tell people I am a wedding planner, first there is a smile in their eyes and then come the questions. What was the biggest, nicest, weirdest, craziest, most expensive wedding you have ever planned? 

People love hearing the stories. Weddings are high drama and I love being the director.

I do this because I love it all. The theater, the creativity, the families and the appreciation I feel for a job well done.

With every wedding I have learned something new,  be it a way to do something better, different or to never to do it that way again.

Diary of a wedding planner came about after I went to a party and started telling my stories. At first I had one person listening and within fifteen minutes I had twenty standing around me awe struck, laughing and crying. 

So I thought, why not blog about it and others may enjoy reading the stories.

So here it is what I have learned, the good, the bad, the joyous and the ugly in fifteen years of helping brides and grooms prepare for their big day.

Hope you laugh, cry and learn something for your own wedding from my wedding experiences.

If you are a bride or wedding vendor and would like to share your story, I will be adding new topics every Monday and would love to include your wedding life lesson in my blog.

Enjoy,

Mary